Self-Giving while Care-Giving
“Put your own oxygen mask on first before you assist others with theirs.” How many times have we heard that from flight attendants before take-off? How often do we honestly do that in our relationships with others? Many of us, especially women, are known for giving to others; people are honored for being “selfless”. We need to listen to the flight attendants folks! It’s not a badge of honor to give everything to others and leave nothing for ourselves. If we focus all our time and energy on others, we become depleted, affecting mood, physical health, psychological well-being, mental acuity...
Read MoreThe Gift
Below is the speech I had the pleasure of giving at my son and daughter-in-law’s wedding on June 9, 2023. The name Matthew means “Gift of God”. When our son Matt was young, Bill and I often wondered what to do with the energetic and enthusiastic gift we were given, but over the years his many gifts became apparent. Matt is a charming, thoughtful, sentimental and insightful person. At 8 or 9, he said, “Mom, I know why you had me–you had to learn how to be with boys again” and he was right! I grew up with 4 sweet brothers and had to readjust after having two wonderful daughters. Matt...
Read MoreEngagement in a Post-COVID World
My son was recently engaged to a wonderful woman, which got me thinking about engagement and what it means to be engaged. A marital engagement is defined as “a commitment or pledge to bind yourself to another”. It isn’t an engagement unless both parties say yes to the other. My son had to choose her; she had to choose him; it was a two-way, mutual decision to commit to each other. Employee engagement is a big topic in the world of work, and the post-COVID world has made it harder to fully engage with others because of hybrid work schedules, virtual meetings, and rarely, if ever being...
Read MoreHaving “IT” All
When I asked a coaching client what she wanted to focus on in our work together, she replied, “Everyone says you can have it all, but I’m not sure how to do that.” My response was “Have you defined what IT is for you?” Trying to have IT all has been a common challenge for decades, especially with working parents. The global pandemic has increased the choices and challenges of where to live, how and where to work, how to spend time, and where one derives satisfaction. I was deep in this struggle around the age of 35-trying to juggle home, friends, family, and my passion for work and volunteer...
Read MoreForging Your Own Path
“Opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding. The highest form of knowledge is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another’s world.” –Bill Bullard Three recent incidents have me thinking about what it takes to forge your own path: My goddaughter started college.My grandson started kindergarten.An acquaintance asked if I was ready to start dating because she had “someone in mind for me”. (The answer is no!) We all experience new chapters in our full lives – not sure where we’re going or how it...
Read More2020 Vision
You’ve heard the saying, Hindsight is 2020? That phrase certainly has new meaning now! Over the last 10 years or so, there were hopeful and predictive articles and books anticipating the year 2020. It seemed like 2020 was going to be the year we all got clarity and inspiration and found our way. January 2020 brought lots of blogs and posts about 2020 vision and living your best life…yada, yada, yada. Then, 2020 actually happened…a global pandemic, social unrest, an upside- down economy, political battles, violence and divisiveness. With quarantine, people ill and dying, job loss or changes,...
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Deb Hornell is a visionary whose personal brand of “Cultivating Environments for Growth” extends into her consulting practice, her family and friendships, and her book: "Good Things for a Full Life."
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